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Jan 30
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Jan 30
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At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”"Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.”"Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.”
What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”"Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.”"I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO.
“Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”"Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”
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Jan 26
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Was That Today?
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Jan 23
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After a very long period of inactivity the SpoogeBeast.com Forum is back!
Truthfully it never went anywhere but I’ve decided to try and kick some life back into it. The software that runs the forum has been updated as have a lot of the little add-ons (mods) and there will be some new bits and pieces thrown in here and there.
So if you had fun posting stuff on the ‘Beast or maybe just lurking come back and have at it again!
See ya on the forum!
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Dec 20
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This is lots of fun for the Star Wars fans out there. Tell the site your city and it will equate the weather to a planet from Star Wars (e.g. “it’s like Hoth out there!”).
Very well done.
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Aug 03
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Boob lovers can rejoice now that their favourite pastime i.e. ogling tits has been given the thumbs up from the medical boffins. That’s right checking out a nice set of norks is good for you. Now I know why I’m so damn healthy! 
Perving is healthy
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Jul 27
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One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”
His friend offered, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.”
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.
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Jul 21
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Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.
They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, “Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today.”
“What?” his father replied.
“When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, ‘Jesus, I’m coming, Jesus I’m coming.’ If it wasn’t for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!”
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Jul 19
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Click over to the Gallery for some smokin’ celeb pics.
